paint it black swan

i loved black swan! i loved how natalie portman was fragile but strong. i loved that that 70s show girl was perfectly cast as sexy but girl-next-door. i loved the creepy sound effects. i loved that the ballet director was sexual and creepy but didn't actually rap her or anything. i loved the ending and how everything was resolved although still fucked up.

but, mostly i loved that it it really showed how crazy jealousy and competition can make a person. i feel like that so often because i have so much internal anxiety and jealousy and i feel like i'm always being ranked and judged against other people and all those feelings make me feel crazy and horrible. black swan was a movie version of those feelings and even by showing and the bringing the internalness out in the world, i feel better. so the next time i'm freaking out and don't feel like i measure up, i'll think about what that feeling did to natalie portman and i'll work on feeling better.

i also loved that it wasn't about making a relationship work because that's what everything is about.